Moments…November 2012

11.14.2012 Heart is racing and the tears won’t fall deliberating questions and no one to call going through the motions and no one can tell that this grown woman feels tormented in hell the smiles are a mask she has perfected to a tee it’s  really a science not allowing everyone to see that she is not as happy as she makes everyone believe the determination she has to not wear her heart on her sleeve yet the problems she faces she takes upon herself belief in God gives her the solace and help but she is only human and may break down and cry and refuses to scream why Lord why she occasionally looks up with the tears in her eyes and may question her worth as she looks in the skies reality sets in and its only by faith that she reels it all in and comes back to a sane place she avoids the ones who recognize that face she goes through the motions with stoic grace until another moment takes her back to that place it’s a never-ending cycle and one you can’t see because the woman you are describing, that woman, is me….

 

11.27.2012 You wonder aloud why the words from the Pastor have a reverberating sound or is it the music the sweet melodies that are used as a vessel to whisper to me I often sit tall and hear that sweet voice and I pray silently and thankfully rejoice that no matter what the circumstances may be you still guide me through and help keep my sanity even when I hit bottom with thoughts of moving on you easily reach me with such a simple song although my heart aches with the questions from my past you refuse to let me wallow in clouded sharp glass I know there’s a purpose even though I cannot see I’ll be graciously rewarded I will be set free….

 

11.27.12 Forgive me this moment while I feel all alone wondering just wondering why they can’t feel me through the phone or why my best friend who I’ve been with for so long is not who I married by no fault of his own I look in his eyes for the man he used to be and selfishly question should it have been me I know in my heart that it’s all in life’s plans and I accept with no doubts I have been dealt this hand so silently I sit fighting the tears from my eyes and secretly I revert, and I do ask why so please forgive this brief pity party sometimes it’s just needed to help me to really see it’s never as bad as we make it out to be in the midst of all the adversity it’s imperative to pray and release all inequities

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s